The Great Porcelain Throne: Your Guide to Buying a Brand New Toilet

Conquer the commode conundrum with this friendly guide! Learn about sizes, flushing mechanisms, comfort features, and more to find the perfect throne for your bathroom kingdom.

Let’s face it, nobody gets giddy about shopping for toilets. But fear not, brave commode crusaders! This guide will transform your porcelain pilgrimage into a triumphant quest, equipping you with the knowledge to navigate the treacherous waters of toilet technology. So, grab your measuring tape, unleash your inner plumber, and prepare to find the throne that’s fit for your royal derriere.

Measure Twice, Flush Once: Size Matters

Before diving into the abyss of bowl shapes and flushing mechanisms, let’s get down to earth (pun intended) with some essential measurements. Whip out that tape measure and find the rough-in, the distance between the wall and the center of the sewer pipe flange. This crucial number determines the type of toilet that’ll grace your bathroom. In most homes, it’s a standard 12 inches, but older dwellings might have 10-inch or 14-inch rough-ins. Jot it down, it’s your bathroom’s blueprint to porcelain paradise!

Next stop: bowl shape. Elongated bowls offer extra legroom, while round ones are space-saving champs. Consider your bathroom’s dimensions and personal preferences. Remember, comfort is king (or queen) in the porcelain kingdom.

Heighten Your Horizons (and Knees): Comfort Considerations

Standard toilets sit at around 14-15 inches, but for taller folks or those with mobility concerns, comfort height or chair height toilets (17-19 inches) are knightly saviors. They make sitting and standing a breeze, protecting your knees from porcelain purgatory.

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The Flush Force: Power vs. Efficiency

Now, for the fun part: flushing mechanisms! We’ve got the classic gravity flush, a tried-and-true warrior that uses the weight of water to banish waste. Then there’s the pressure-assisted flush, a technological titan that blasts everything away with pressurized air. It’s powerful, efficient, and slightly pricier. Finally, the dual-flush system, the eco-conscious champion, uses separate buttons for liquid and solid waste, saving water with every flush. Choose your flushing champion based on budget, efficiency needs, and desired level of waste annihilation.

Bonus Features: From Heated Seats to Bidet Bliss

Feeling fancy? Buckle up, because the toilet tech world has gone wild! Heated seats will warm your tush on chilly mornings, while bidets offer a refreshing posterior spa experience. You can even get toilets with built-in nightlights and automatic flush sensors (because who wants to touch germy buttons after, well, you know?). Just remember, these bells and whistles come at a cost, so choose wisely, oh budget-conscious throne seeker.

Throne Room Essentials: Seats and Supplies

Your porcelain palace isn’t complete without a trusty seat. Opt for soft-close seats to avoid the toilet-seat slam symphony, and choose materials like wood or padded vinyl for maximum comfort. And don’t forget the toilet plunger, your loyal knight in the battle against bathroom blockages. Remember, prevention is key, so avoid flushing anything besides the three Bs: bodily fluids, toilet paper, and the occasional brave goldfish who’s met his porcelain demise (RIP, Bubbles).

Installation: DIY or Call in the Pros?

Installing a toilet can be a DIY adventure, but if plumbing isn’t your forte, fear not! Hiring a professional plumber ensures a leak-proof, frustration-free experience. Plus, they can handle any unexpected twists and turns your bathroom plumbing might throw their way.

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With this guide as your royal road map, you’re now equipped to navigate the world of toilets with confidence. So, go forth, brave adventurer, and find the throne that’s perfect for your porcelain palace!

Remember, the key to a successful toilet-buying journey is:

  • Measure accurately.
  • Consider your needs and budget.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
  • And most importantly, have fun! (Okay, maybe not fun, but at least make it less stressful.)

With a little planning and this handy guide, you’ll find the perfect toilet to grace your bathroom and rule over your porcelain domain.

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